Forgiveness is not: pretending it didn’t hurt.

Forgiveness is: giving up the right to get even.

Genesis 50:20-21
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.

Forgiveness is not: minimizing the wrong.

When you minimize the wrong, you cheapen the forgiveness.

Forgiveness is: treating your offender as forgiven.

Forgiveness is not: excusing the wrong.

When you give someone an excuse, you are called an enabler.

Forgiveness is: a tender heart toward your offender.

Forgiveness is not: taking the blame for the wrong. Taking the blame is the victim mentality.

Forgiveness is: blessing your offender.

Romans 12:17-20
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Forgiveness is not: overlooking the wrong.

Forgiveness is: praying for your offender.

When I pray for you, my heart is softened toward you and it’s easier to forgive you.

Forgiveness is not: an emotion or a feeling.

Forgiveness is not: a feeling, it’s a choice.

Forgiveness is not: a bargaining chip.

Forgiveness is not: immediately trusting.

Forgiveness is: letting go of the bitterness and anger.

Trust is established by character and consistency.

Forgiveness is: about me.

Trust is about we.

Forgiveness is not: a reunion.

If the relationship is going to be restored, the offender has to do three things: repent, make it right, and rebuild trust.

Forgiveness is: me being free.

Forgiveness is not: their action.

Forgiveness is: your decision.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.