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Three Friends We All Need

October 13, 2019
Brooke Sedinger
Scripture Reference
Message Notes

You are not alone. God sees you. He hears you. He knows you. He’s close to you. We love you. We are cheering you on.


One in five American adults experience mental illness, and only 19% of those receive treatment.

  • There’s a stigma around that, and it stops people from reaching out, and it often leads to feelings of shame.


2 Corinthians 4:2
“We refuse to wear masks or play games. We don’t maneuver or manipulate behind the scenes, and we don’t twist God’s word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display.”


In addition to material poverty, which means lack of money, and spiritual poverty, which means lack of eternal meaning, there is also relational poverty, which means lack of close friendships, studies are telling us that we have fewer friends than ever before.


According to the American Sociological Review, one quarter of Americans, about 80 million people, say they have zero friends



1. People are working more. 

2. People move around more in the economy than they did before, not staying in one place to get close to people. 

3. People are getting divorced more often


It’s real embarrassing when you get close to someone and they see all your junk, it becomes much more transparent. We say we’re transparent because we show people what they want them to see, but we’re not vulnerable. We show them what we want them to see.


You can have a thousand Facebook friends or a thousand Instagram followers, but not one close friend.


Our lives are the sum total of our relationships



1. Everyone needs a Samuel.

Everyone needs a friend who sees you, how God sees you, who sees your value, who sees your potential, who calls those things out in you.


1 Samuel 16:7
“The Lord said to Samuel, do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see a man see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”


1 Samuel 16:12
“Rise and anoint him. This is the one.”


Do you have any friends that see you as God sees you? Do you have any friends that make you better? Do you have friends that call out God’s purposes in your life?


You need someone in your life that’s able to look at you and say, hey, you might not score all our points, but without you, we don’t have the motivation that we need. You have value. You need someone to look at you and say, hey, you’re not meant to tend the sheep. You’re meant to be king. You need that person in your life who looks at you and calls that value out in you.


If you want to get closer to god, you need a friend that’s close to god. If you want a good marriage, befriend a couple with a strong marriage. If you want to grow in your parenting skills, find someone who is wise in dealing with their kids those things. You are the sum total of your relationship. So if you want to be better, find people who are better.


2. Everyone needs a Jonathan. 

Everyone needs a friend who will help you find strength in the midst of temptation and weakness. And if they cannot help you find strength in the midst of temptation and weakness, they will put you in a tub to keep you from making bad decisions and stand on it.


1 Samuel 18:7
“Saul has slain his thousands and David his ten thousands.”


The reality is that we have to stop surrounding ourselves with people who feel threatened and insecure when we succeed.


Ecclesiastes 4:12
“By yourself you’re unprotected, but with a friend, you can face the worst.”


Who in your life helps you find strength when you are weak?


3. Everyone needs a Nathan.

Everyone needs a friend who will tell you the truth, the whole truth, God’s truth.


2 Samuel 12:5-6
“As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die. He must pay for that lamb four times over because he did such a thing and had no pity.”


We have to connect with people on purpose who love us enough to be blatantly honest. Just because you love someone unconditionally does not mean you have to approve of their behavior unconditionally. There’s a difference. Just because you love someone and you support them and you think they’re a great person, doesn’t mean that every decision that they make and all of their behavior, you have to support unconditionally. It’s okay to say I love you, but I’m telling you the truth and that’s not a good choice. I love you. But that wasn’t the best decision.


Why are you making other people pay for the hurt that they had no part in?


Who in your life can call you out when you are wrong and correct you?


You need people that tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.


The reality is that when the only voice you hear and the only voice you’re familiar with is the voice of the enemy, it’s the voice that’s so much louder when all that plays in your head is the enemy’s lies. And when all that plays in your head is what you feel and what you experience in moments of isolation, it becomes the loudest voice. And it’s so much harder to hear what God says about you and what your friends say about you and what people that are in your corner say about you.



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